Why the Holidays Feel So Hard: Stress, Anxiety, Overwhelm & What You Can Do to Feel Better

Why the Holidays Feel So Hard, And What You Can Do to Feel Better

The holidays can be beautiful and brutally overwhelming at the same time.

If this season feels heavier than you expected, you’re not alone. A lot of women move through December feeling stressed, emotional, or off without understanding why.

Once you know what’s really happening underneath the surface, it becomes much easier to support yourself through it.

If You’ve Been Googling These Holiday Questions, You’re Not Alone

You’re Not Imagining It

If you’ve found yourself typing things like:

• Why are the holidays so stressful?

• Why do I feel anxious during the holidays?

• Why does my family stress me out?

• Why do I feel lonely this time of year?

You’re not alone.

These searches spike every December, and they reflect very real emotional and nervous-system responses, not personal weakness.

Many women quietly wonder why they feel overwhelmed, drained, sensitive, or unlike themselves during the holidays, especially when everything looks “fine” on the outside.

If you’re curious to understand your anxiety more deeply, you can explore my full Anxiety Specialty Page for signs, patterns, and the pathways that actually help.

Here’s what’s really going on. Your mind and body are responding to familiar patterns, memories, expectations, and pressures that most people never talk about. And understanding these patterns is the first step toward feeling more grounded and supported this season.

The Top 6 Reasons the Holidays Feel Stressful, Emotional, or Overwhelming

The Weight of It All

The holidays demand more than your mental bandwidth can handle.

The holidays add an intense amount of pressure in a very short period of time. You’re suddenly juggling more expectations, more tasks, and more emotional labor than usual. This is why searches like why are the holidays so stressful spike every December. What feels like “holiday stress” is really cognitive overload and nervous-system overwhelm.

The Old Roles Return
Family dynamics reactivate old stress

Being around family can reactivate old patterns you’ve worked so hard to heal and outgrow. Even with the strongest mantras and affirmations, and DBT armored coping skills, your body remembers the roles you played: the fixer, the achiever, the peacekeeper, the performer, long before your mind does.

This is why so many people Google Why does my family stress me out during the holidays. It’s not regression; it’s emotional imprinting.

Lonely in a Crowd
The season magnifies loneliness and disconnection

Loneliness is often even more common during the holidays, even when you’re surrounded by people (especially when you are surrounded by people).

Breakups, friendship shifts, or simply feeling unseen can make the season feel isolating. We can often expect what a Holiday should look and feel like. And while curling up with a cozy blanket, a glass of wine or cocoa, and a good Holiday rom-com is a nice treat, it can also set expectations that feel like you’re failing and destined to end up alone when Santa doesn’t leave a sparkly ring under the tree.

Searches like why do I feel lonely during the holidays rise because these emotional gaps feel sharper in December. It’s a human response, not a personal failing.

When Grief Gets Loud
Grief and memory become sharper during the holidays

Traditions and memories can make grief feel closer, even if the loss wasn’t recent.

Whether it’s our first holiday without our loved one, or the loss was 5 years ago, and we are still hurting, grief can often come and steal holiday joy and leave us wanting to curl up under the covers and fast forward to next year.

For the person who has just lost someone, we often have dread leading up to the holidays, wondering how we will survive without that person. And trying to figure out what life after loss looks like feels beyond heavy.

If you’re missing someone who has been gone for a while, we feel like we “should” be over it, but the pain and losing somoene we love never leaves.

Many people quietly Google grief during the holidays because this season highlights who or what is missing. Rituals bring back emotions your mind may have tried to pack away. Which is why grief often speaks louder in December.

Running on Nerves, Not Rest
Your nervous system associates the holiday season with performance

Many women were taught to perform during the holidays.

Keep the peace

Create the mood

Hold everything together.

This conditioning can make your nervous system go into overdrive the moment December hits. Searches like Why am I anxious during the holidays reflect this learned pattern. Your body isn’t misfiring; it’s reacting to old expectations.

Losing Yourself in the Magic
The pressure to make the holidays magical for everyone else

There’s a quiet pressure to make the holidays magical for everyone else. The cookies, the garland, the lights, the perfect spread, and the gift that will make their hearts sing.

In the process, your own needs and desires can get pushed aside. This is why holiday perfectionism is such a common search this time of year. When you’re focused on creating joy for others, it’s easy to lose yourself in the performance.

Your Feelings Make Sense — And You’re Not Alone in Them

It’s Okay to Feel This Way

Everything you’re feeling this season… the stress, the heaviness, the anxiety, the loneliness, even the grief that catches you off guard, is a completely normal human response to a very emotionally layered time of year.

These reactions are not only common but can be especially challenging for women who carry a lot and tend to keep moving no matter what. When the plates are already full, the Holiday comes and dumps a huge Turkey on your plate, wishing you had left a little extra wiggle room for overflow.

Once you understand why the holidays feel so intense, the next step is learning how to support your mind, body, and nervous system in ways that actually help. And that’s where grounded coping tools, emotional support, and even therapy can make this season feel softer.

If you’re curious what type of anxiety pattern you tend to fall into, take the Anxiety Archetype Quiz — it’s a helpful tool to understand how your stress shows up.

How to Cope With Holiday Stress and Anxiety (In Ways That Actually Help)

(Each coping tool below has a short Sloop Script heading)

Say No to Say Yes
Tip #1: Setting micro-boundaries

Setting micro-boundaries protects your energy and prevents emotional burnout. Even one small “no” can create the space you need to feel grounded and present. This is especially helpful if you tend to people-please or take on more than you can realistically handle.

Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out; they’re about choosing yourself.

Reframe the Season
Tip #2: Release the “shoulds.”

You don’t have to feel joyful just because it’s the holidays.

Releasing the “shoulds” and letting yourself feel what’s true reduces internal pressure and emotional overload. This gentle mindset shift can ease holiday anxiety and bring more calm into your body. Permission is powerful.

And it allows you to let go of what you “should” be doing, and choose what WOULD feel right for you.

Grieve Your Way
(Tip #3: Honor grief in the way that works for you)

Grief often gets louder this time of year, and there is no right or wrong way to move through it.

Let yourself honor your loss in a way that feels supportive. A moment, a memory, a ritual, a breath. Suppressing grief increases emotional tension, while acknowledging it creates softness. Give yourself space for the full truth of your heart.

Regulate Before the Chaos
(Tip #4: Nervous system grounding)

Your nervous system needs support before you walk into stressful environments, not just after you’re already overwhelmed.

Grounding techniques like deep breathing, sensory regulation, or taking a short pause can reduce holiday anxiety significantly.

Preparing ahead helps your body stay steady when things get loud or overstimulating. A calmer body creates a clearer mind.

Have a Plan for Triggers
(Tip #5: Prepare for emotional triggers)

You know yourself, and you likely know what or who is going to trigger you.

Going into a typically stressful or tense situation, with a plan, supportive scripts, exit strategies, or grounding tools helps you feel more empowered and less reactive.

Anticipating the stress allows your nervous system to stay regulated instead of being blindsided. Preparation is an act of self-protection, not pessimism.

Let Go of Perfect
(Tip #6: Release the pressure to make it magical for everyone)

You are not responsible for creating a magical experience for everyone else.

ESPECIALLY at the expense of your own peace.

Releasing holiday perfectionism reduces stress, overwhelm, and emotional exhaustion.

When you stop striving for the ideal, you make room for moments that feel genuinely meaningful. Perfection is pressure; presence is peace.

If you want ongoing support and grounded tools delivered to your inbox, you can join the Life EleVolve’d Newsletter for weekly coping strategies and emotional wellness insights.

When Support Helps — and How Therapy Can Make This Season Feel Softer

You Don’t Have to Hold It All

Sometimes the stress, emotions, or triggers of the holidays feel heavier than what you can carry on your own. Therapy can help you understand your patterns, regulate your nervous system, create boundaries that actually work, and move through the season feeling grounded instead of overwhelmed. Support gives you space to breathe and tools to navigate the moments that feel too big, too loud, or too familiar. You deserve a place where you can focus on yourself, not just everyone else.

You Deserve a Holiday Season That Feels Like You, Too

Let This Be Your Softest December Yet

If the holidays feel heavy, you don’t have to push through them alone.

Therapy can help you reconnect with yourself, build healthier emotional patterns, and create a December that feels calmer, lighter, and more aligned with what you truly need. You’re worthy of support, rest, and moments that feel nourishing — not draining. If you’re ready for this season to feel different, I’d be honored to support you.

When you’re ready, you can book your free 20-minute consultation and start feeling more grounded this season.